


We Could Do Better

by Faerie_Fable



Series: Shenanigans [2]
Category: Hazbin Hotel (Web Series)
Genre: Alastor is in Hell for a Reason (Hazbin Hotel), AngelDust being AngelDust, Attempt at Humor, Bad Cooking, Bad Humor, Cannibalistic Thoughts, Cooking, Cooking Lessons, F/F, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Gen or Pre-Slash, Hijinks & Shenanigans, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Inappropriate Humor, M/M, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, mentions of cannibalism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-01
Updated: 2019-12-01
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:02:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21627280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Faerie_Fable/pseuds/Faerie_Fable
Summary: Cooking shows sometimes suck, shenanigans once again ensue.
Relationships: Alastor & Angel Dust (Hazbin Hotel), Alastor/Angel Dust (Hazbin Hotel), Charlie Magne/Vaggie
Series: Shenanigans [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1562167
Comments: 17
Kudos: 326





	We Could Do Better

**Author's Note:**

> There's gonna be cannibalism. This is intended as pre-slash but can be read as friendship
> 
> Edit : changed the name to something more fitting

AngelDust was lounging back on the sofa, chin resting on a fist, staring avidly at the TV screen with a raised, sardonic brow, smirking softly to himself when Alastor passed, microphone being tossed from hand to hand with showy twists and spins. He paused to glance at the screen when AngelDust snorted, huffing out a laugh. "He didn't even skin it properly and now he's forgotten to add the fuckin' rosemary" the pink spider groused, moving to sit on the lounge properly, both currently out sets of hands gesturing widely at the screen, "he didn't even oil the pan first" he shouts, all four hands slumping to the lounge beside him as he shakes his head and Alastor just can't even right now.

He stops, leaning against the sofa arm, microphone disappearing as he crossed his arms, watching in horror as Geoffrey the Demon on the screen literally flops some meat, badly skinned and unseasoned onto a cold pan without oil. He shakes his head, "tsk"ing softly under his breath, gesturing at the screen right along with AngelDust, "it's a cold pan to make things worse!" Static and symbols floating around his hand and soon he's sitting on the lounge, the two demons grumbling occasionally as the cookshow host messes up repeatedly. 

They both groaned at the same time when the demon show host stuffs what looks like a giant goats ribs with sourdough bread crumbs and not enough herbs, once again without oil. "He's gonna dry the meat out and burn the bottom to the roasting dish" Angel whined, loud and shrill, standing from his seat to wave a set of hands at the screen angrily while pacing for a few seconds. When Alastor agreed with him wholeheartedly, launching into a heartfelt tirade about breadcrumbs he sat down, turning to the red demon beside him, "I dunno where this bozo learnt to cook but I could do better and I ain't even a  _ real _ cannibal"

"He gives those of us who are a bad name" Alastor agreed with a nod, voice a little more staticy than usual with frustration, grin just a tad too wide and teeth a bit sharper than usual.

"We should cook it better and show him how it's done" AngelDust announced, flicking the TV off with the remote, his own teeth on display in a cruel and wicked smirk of his own, leaning in towards the Deer Demon, already manic with the beginnings of a plan hatching. "If you get the meat and our guest, I can get the kitchen set up and start on the vegetables". 

"What a swell idea my good fellow" the radio Demon announced, leaping from his spot, grin becoming manic, fueled by the energy AngelDust was exhibiting and soon the Deer and Spider were bypassing the hotels hostess who watched them with a befuddled expression on her soft face. Husker only glared when they appropriated a bottle of red wine for the cooking show they'd be hosting in the hotels own kitchens. 

"What just happened? What are they doing?" Charlie asked the barman with a note of anxiety in her confused question, dragging her hands down her face in exasperation while Husker only shrugged, swearing under his breath. She watched as Angel sauntered off to the kitchens with a wave to Alastor who waved back jovially as he left through the hotels front doors.

"I'll be back in two hours with our guest" was announced with a perfect radio host laugh before the doors closed with an ominous thud while Angel cackled to himself the rest of the way to the kitchen, the sound manic and dangerous as it faded into the distance.

"Why are they getting along?" the princess whined, grabbing Husker by his bowtie, pulling him in until their noses were touching, tears of frustration in her big eyes while he tried to release himself from her panicked grip, nearly stumbling when she suddenly released him, running to look for Vaggie to get her opinion. Neither were able to figure it out until watching the news the next day and Jeffrey's cannibal cooking show segment started, but the kitchen was wrong….

"That's the hotels kitchen" Charlie said, voice high and shaking just before Alastor and AngelDust came on screen, Jeffrey tied to a chair between them while a dead goat demon lay on one of the benches behind them. Niffty skittered onto the screen for a moment, a quick 'nope' muttered softly as she cleans blood dripping from the bench before it can reach the floor then disappears again. "It's our kitchen" Charlie whined, flopping with her face in her hands onto her sofa, Vaggie looking ready to explode beside her.

"Ah Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to a not-so-normal viewing of the Cannibal Cooking show, tonight we'll be your hosts as we show our dear guest Jeffrey how to do a real Roast" Alastors voice announced, grin matching AngelDusts beside him on screen, microphone glowing in his hand while Angel caresses a knife beside him, testing it's sharpness. "Stay tuned"


End file.
